Thanksgiving control freak

For the first time ever our family had thanksgiving out. I had mixed emotions about it. The primary concern of course being how would I survive without some of my thanksgiving favorites. Like my amazing chestnut stuffing and corn pudding. For the past few years I've been a bit of thanksgiving control freak. Preferring to host just to make sure all things are as I want them to be. Potatoes, mashed with tons of butter and cream, no pepper. Stuffing with vegetables cut into chunks and tons of chestnuts. Tons. You get the point.
By eating dinner out I would give up all control. But I would need to do NOTHING. And that my friend is very tempting. So out we did go. 

The one thing I hadn’t taken into consideration was all the interpersonal stuff would still be there. It’s just happening in a giant dining hall with ice sculptures dripping in the corner. And it’s not just happening at our table, it’s going on at every table. Somehow I feel as if we are all feeding off each other’s craziness, magnifying it by all being together. As I look around the dining room every table seems to have at a few staple characters. We had at least three. I'll leave to you to guess which ones.

-Kid who will not eat anything

-Elderly relative who can’t hear anything and keeps yelling out, ‘what”?

-Mom who rolls her eyes every time inappropriately dresses daughter stands up

-Drunken uncle laughing loudly at joke only he appreciates

-Teenage boy dressed in football jersey

-Little girl using the hem of her dress as a napkin

-Dad unbuttoning of pants

-Granddad to waitress “what do you mean alcoholic drinks are not included”!?

-Small children being dragged out from under tables, repeatedly

-College girlfriend looking like deer in headlights

-Wives yelling at husbands about table manners

-A woman in her 40’s yelling “who finished the wine”?

-Aunt whose blouse really needs one more button to be buttoned

The evening left me feeling as if I was not only experiencing my family’s Thanksgiving craziness but every ones. Which in my opinion is far more exhausting then cooking for 26.